I was so freaked out on Thursday when I found out that I had a boy that I actually tried to go into denial while I was in the ultrasound room. There I am, with my partner, one of our community members, my daughter and my partner's mother who is also a friend...the baby is squirming around in my belly, its image showing up on the screen...the ultrasound technician won't tell me a dyam thing about what she sees, says she's not allowed to. She lets me know that I'm seeing between the baby's legs and so if I have any idea about what the sex could probably be, then there it is. I squint and try to understand my baby's vagina. It looks sort of un-vagina like so I say I can't really understand what's there. Later my partner's mother confides that she had seen quite clearly and had asked the tech to go back again just so she could make sure.
Anyway, I haven't mentioned that I had a very courteous fight with the ultrasound office over the document they fill out with all the information about the results of the ultrasound. During my last pregnancy the midwife I had for the first 25 weeks of the pregnancy, up until I left her, did something that I really appreciated, she arranged it with me so that I could take the ultrasound document from the hospital under the guise that I was going to be seeing her later on that day. All this b.s. because the medical establishment doesn't actually believe that a client/woman/mother has a right to see information about her own body without the middleman's/doctor's interpretation to guide her way.
I really resent that. This time around, the ultrasound admin workers were really clear that they weren't giving me anything. So, I called the midwive's office and requested that the receptionist intercede on my behalf because I'm a big child who needs to call an authority figure to advocate on my behalf, now don't I? How humiliating.
The receptionist actually sounded a little shaky, like she didn't think the ultrasound office would go along with her. So, I had to give her a little bit of affirmation and advice about how to approach it.
The office workers and radiologist, doing passive resistance, made me wait for about half an hour for what they said would take twenty minutes, a simple going over of the document by the radiologist to make sure that all was correct on the form the tech had filled out. Whatever.
In any case, I was the first to see my own ultrasound results, followed by my family members. It was, as I've already written, a boy.
What I didn't mention was that the technician indicated that the baby is actually 19 weeks old. Ha, fat chance. I know when we had the sex. So, I'm watching to see how they try to spin this into, "Oh, your baby's overdue," when the 10th of June passes and I'm not ejecting my payload. I'm prepping now for their botheration. If I need to tell people not to call me I will. I'm expecting my baby around Juneteenth or the Summer Solstice.
The other thing the technician wrote was that the baby's position is breech. Hee. Isn't a little early to decide that, especially when baby was bouncing around like a ball inside me? Anyways. I'm watching to see how all this older baby and breech positioning is approached.
I've got warning about what my next appointment with the midwives could look like. I've got time to review my research and find some new angles. I've got time to sit with the fact that I could potentially be getting lined up like a ball on a pool table. Caesarean, corner pocket. But this ball is fine jumping right off the table. So, we'll see.