"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
- Maya Angelou
hmmm...useful bit of information. It explains a helluva lot.
But, since we can't make each other feel anything, since what we often think we feel is more than likely about reaction not emotion, and since what we often do react to or even feel is completely linked to our core stuff, childhood stuff, experiences much older than most of our friendships or loverships, I have to say I appreciate Maya Elder for trying even if she was off the mark.
sigh...
People do often remember how (they think) I made them feel.
They very rarely understand why.
They are rarely interested in attempting to dig to find out what they brought to the mix.
And yes, they will likely forget what I say in those moments and definitely disregard what I do to attempt to create space for them to embrace memory, emotion and choice.
sigh...So her words do not necessarily inspire me to be hopeful.
2 transmissions:
Well said. It always bugs me when I hear "you make me feel...." for the reasons you give.
In my less compassionate moments I'll think (if not say outright) "stop giving away your power and take some friggin ownership for yourself. Please." LOL
I know. You're right. "I feel" should be sufficient. It's brave. It begs the question "Why?" It asks us to look. It's taken me years to learn the difference. But also there is responsibility, too. What have I brought to this mix? What of my core issues has come into play? How much of what's happening has to do with what another person is doing? How much of what's happening has to do with my reactions to another person. How much of what's happening is about how I always see things? There are so many question. Sitting with them is excruciating. Almost as excruciating as the questions I tend to ask other people who bring me...stuff. Difficult.
Post a Comment