1TBM: Just because I'm living in the twilight zone right now...

"so it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive"

- audre lorde, a litany for survival

wrongly labeled as curmudgeonly, unkind and arrogant by those who prefer to, in deep denial, swim peacefully with the tide not rage valiantly and vigilantly against it...
i am a...
43 year old, fiery WYSIWYG, Black conscious, caribbean (not at all the same thing as a Black amerikkkan), north amerikkkan raised, first born child of divorced parents, capricornian, anti- (capitalist/imperialist expansionist corporate) war, 9/11 truther, dark(er) skinned, matriarchal, polyamorous, class conscious, fat, tall, rogue scholar happily living in exile, eclectic/solitary practicing pagan ancestor/universe/ goddess worshiping, kinky (doesn't mean i'll be sexual with just anyone), queer'd (i lived a good portion of my life as a lesbian turned dyke before i decided queer as a way to indicate my radical sexuality-oriented political worked...that's in flux...oh, wait...identity related dimensional shift in process...in my head i've been trying on "heterosexual" for size), cisgendered, femme, polymath, bottom (who can but doesn't really prefer to switch), far-seer, verbal, confident, introvert who presents as extrovert, RADICAL lefty, feminist, anti-authoritarian, socialist, homebirther, full-time radical attachment oriented parent.

tha mission

self homeschooling...

wildbirthing my own radical, anti-authoritarian political according to my own specifications...

absorbing written material (mostly of the radical lefty, anarchist variety) at the speed of light, synthesizing as i go...

shining a beacon out across the net so as to say: i'm here. i've been here. is anyone with whom i can connect/network/ally with there?

this is a place of rampant musing, courageous dreaming, heated creating and inexorable building of personal power.

although i do love to play some music from time to time, don't get too comfy as this is not a proper place, a nice space, an edutaining space, a tidy space or a space for people who want to be associated with surface popularity or cliques.

this is a lone space probe, a craft on a mission seeking other lone defiantly complex autonomous needles in a planetary haystack diseased with domination.

so, if you visit and read and happily see kindred in these lines of mine, write me - tenaciousbabymama at gee mail dot cee eh.
...the more words and ideas the better.

but, if you visit and don't get me, don't feel the love, don't feel safe or don't feel welcome...take some deep breaths and ground.

do not email me invitations into circular debates that have no meaning and no intelligent end in sight. do not write me hate mail under an assumed name.

do not invite your blogland cronies to email me exorcism invitations. don't even botha thinking that the threat of labeling me not nice, troll or bully in an attempt to control my flow will do a damn thang.

just call it a day, back away slowly and close the door on your way out.

"those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are those who want crops without plowing the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning; they want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. power never concedes anything without a demand. it never did and it never will. find out just what people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or both."

- frederick douglass

It's getting hot in here...

Toronto Police and the RCMP are hunting for scapegoats
in order to better criminalize resistance and discourage activism in all its forms.
And so...
From the Movement Defense Committee:

We need donations to support those arrested at the G20. You can support the detainees’ legal costs and help alleviate some of the other costs of navigating the court system, and help us keep organizing. We will be distributing the funds to those with the most need, prioritizing those still in custody on serious charges.

To donate via PayPal go to: g20.torontomobilize.org (link is on right hand side). Make sure to put 'G20 legal defence' in the "Add special instructions for the Merchant" section.

Click here for more details.

i speak english. but it's not my mother tongue. i don't know what that is or would have been. or to be more specific, i don't know the languages of the peoples i'm descended from.

so yeah, english is the language my ancestors were forced to speak after they were stolen from their homes, killed in the millions, raped, force worked, emotionally abused, bred like cattle and generally maltreated on an epic scale.

it was the language of their captors. it is the language the descendants of those captors speak today...with some really fascinating etymological bits and pieces thrown in from all over.

my mother tongue was taken captive and excised. my tongue is colonized.

why do i even bother to point this out?

well, as i travel in blogland i occasionally run across people who threaten to tantrum or disregard or socially shun those who do not utilize the colonizing imperialist queen's "good" english with full deference and exacting perfection. they call themselves sticklers for good grammar, spelling and punctuation. they write posts about how important it is to write in ways that will let people know you are educated and value the written word.

i cringe when i read these people's words so full of arrogance. i am enraged and driven to tears by the ability of certain people to completely preoccupy themselves with a system of communication while manifesting such ignorance about how that system of communication, that language has virulently spread itself across the planet thereby ensuring the dominance of those who speak it. i am disgusted by the ways these sticklers for grammar, spelling and punctuation can serve as vehicles for the spread of an oppressive toxin without realizing who they are or what they do.

i realize that these sticklers will not be interested in learning how i came to be a victim of the virulent toxic system of communication they prize so highly above all else. i realize they will not want to ground themselves politically or historically so as to emerge from their indoctrinated ignorance. i realize they will not want to hear about the contempt and bitterness i feel towards their beloved language which has infected and thereby colonized my mind and my tongue. i realize that they will not want to hear of anything that tarnishes their perception of their beloved english which locates it as part of a centuries old genocidal war machine.

nope. i'm sure they will not be glad to hear of any such cunting tripe. :)

1TBM

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Just because I'm living in the twilight zone right now...

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