I remember working in an office about 11 or 12 years ago where families who were refugees from war torn countries would come to access support as they attempted to immigrate to kkkanada. There was a child I still remember who waited in the office for parents who were meeting behind closed doors. I gave the child crayons and paper to draw with. There were so many colours and shades available but that child just kept using the same red crayon to draw images and scribbles and unrecognizable images in red, over and over and over again...red. I think there were a good few blood red drawings littered around the office floor by the time the child's parents emerged from their meeting.
I'm pretty sure none of the members of that family would have thought to access trauma support or that it would have been readily available.
I'm definitely traumatized by what I saw and experienced during the occupation of Toronto by the G2o bastards. I'm definitely traumatized by what has happened since. I think I've finally stopped worrying about being raided. I can sleep but whenever I see police at events around the city I look on them with open hatred seeing not their smiling engaging faces as they interact with happy-go-lucky stupid party crowds, but instead seeing them as they were that weekend.
I'll always see them as they were that weekend.
When I see them I want to roar.
When I see them I want to scream and point and kick and throw things and punch and then run.
When I see them I want take the people around me by their shoulders and shake them out of their valiumized complacent fog of denial.
When I see my mostly white middle class conservative patriarchal monogamous heterosexual home owning neighbours I want to ask them what they're thinking. I want to ask them what they've seen on their television screens. I want to ask them if the police have been by to ask about my family. I want to ask them if CSIS has been to call. I want to ask them if they're actually worried I'm going to blow up their precious homes or harm their offspring. I want to ask them what they think they understand. I want to ask lots of really real things.
But mostly I want to avoid them. I want to scream when I see them approaching me on the sidewalk. I want to tell them to not bother trying to be magnanimous and kind when they see the pink haired darkie gyal. I want to wear my real face rather than my oh-so sociable middle class matron face. I want to use my real voice. I want to let them know what actually goes on inside my head. I wish they could not see me. I wish I had a cloak of invisibility I could throw on so that I could just walk by without engaging in everyday chit-chat. I wish. I wish.
I wish they did not love societal control and surface niceties more than they loved their freedom or mine. I wish they did not feel so comfortable with the police walking among us.
the police. the po-po. tha beest. thamuthafuckinpigs. fascist thugs. brainless dangerous donut eaters.
After that weekend there is nothing about who they are that inspires anything but disgust in me.
But truth be told, before that weekend I looked on them with hatred and mistrust because of their active criminalization of Black communities all over north amerikkka.
I remember the murders of Black men.
I remember the courts always finding the police not guilty.
I remember the beating of Rodney King.
I remember Audrey Smith just here on vacation grabbed and publicly strip searched on the street.
I remember that old (non)joke about being pulled over for driving while Black and male.
I remember Papster being followed and pulled over for driving while Black and male again and again and again and again.
I remember bug/simian boy's tales of being picked on by them time and time again for no good reason other than he looks native and much too agile and free.
I remember being picked up by police as a small child because someone in a middle class white (with a smattering of Asian) neighbourhood called the police when my sister and I came trying to collect money for a telethon.
We never did that again.
But I will take to the streets again. I will resist again. I will stand in front of them and stare them down and tell them it's my business what they do. I will scream aloud calling them FASCISTS. I will prepare to bolt at any sign of trouble again. I will regroup somewhere safer again. I will laugh with pleasure when I see the equipment they use to dominate us, the tangible evidence of their power, damaged and destroyed again. I will watch my own back and the backs of those I love again. I will tell my children again and again and again...
The police are not your friends. Only call them if you have absolutely no choice. And if you call them realize they may turn any situation where you are experiencing difficulty or where you are being victimized into a situation where you are now seen as the problem.
For the police we will always be problems.
It is better to critically and aggressively resist the rise of their power and the power of those who control them because they only mean to do us harm.
So there are emotional and psychological supports being offered to those who saw/experienced what happened that weekend and felt it deeply.
We have supports in place.
There are places we can go to process a few days of aggression that is nothing compared to what others have dealt with their whole lives...decades...generations...centuries of harm and hate and domination and fear and rape and tears and howls and no one coming to help.
We, privileged north amerikkkans, have supports.
sigh...don't get me wrong, I am grateful. I really am.
It's just that people in other parts of the world are and have been profoundly harmed so that we could be privileged softies who step a few toes outside of our courteous complacent cushy lives call foul when the police loose their everylovingcrazyass minds and for that little bit of overtly manifested resistance, that most of the people who were there won't even actively claim because they're not political, they're not radical, they're not activists, they're not violent...they weren't trying to rip open the fabric of polite society, for that little drop in the bucket, we get psychological bandaids for our wounds...which we need, true...but others need this support so much more than we do...
Trauma and Recovery
Acute Trauma
Acute Trauma
“Psychological Trauma is an affliction of the powerless. At the moment of trauma, the victim is rendered helpless by overwhelming force. When the force is that of nature, we speak of disasters. When the force is that of other human beings, we speak of atrocities.” – Judith Lewis Herman, M.D.
The incidents which took place during the recent G20 Summit, have left many feeling terrorized, beaten, numb, depersonalized, dehumanized, helpless, and horrified. Whether you were a protester who was beaten, detained, etc., or someone who witnessed the abuse either at the protests or even on T.V. or the internet, these events have left many psychologically traumatized. Victims of atrocities are not only those who experienced it, but also witnesses and society on the whole.
Acute Trauma is what most people are experiencing. Gaining knowledge of Acute Trauma is the first step in empowerment. Knowledge is definitely power in this instance.
Ordinary responses to Acute Trauma include:
• Dissociation (feeling numb, poor concentration, forgetfulness, constriction,It is very important to understand what has happened to you. Part of this understanding comes from being educated about psychological trauma and how it affects you. Another part involves looking at the tactics used by the typical Perpetrator, who inflicts psychological trauma on individuals.
such as going into a state of surrender, disconnection), alternating with
Reliving the event.
• Reliving the event (i.e. intrusion, such as reliving the event in the present,
unable to think of anything else, nightmares, and hyperarousal, such as
always being on alert.)
• Denial of the atrocities (i.e. “This couldn’t possibly happen in Canada!”),
conflicted with The Desire to talk about what has happened.
• The Desire to shout OUT LOUD what has happened.
The Perpetrator:
PSYCHOLOGICAL DOMINATION:
In 1973, Amnesty International published, “Biderman’s Chart of Coercion”. This chart details the psychological tactics used by captors/perpetrators against their victims.
1. Isolation—Deprives victim of all social support of his ability to resist, i.e. denied phone calls to lawyer, family, etc.
2. Monopolization of perception—Eliminates stimuli competing with those controlled by captor (perpetrator); frustrates all actions not consistent with compliance. Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
3. Induced debility, exhaustion—Weakens mental and physical ability to resist.
4. Threats—Cultivates anxiety and despair. Threatens to hurt you, your children, your family or your pets.
5. Occasional indulgences—Provides positive motivation for compliance; Hinders adjustment to deprivation.
6. Demonstrating “omnipotence” – Suggests futility of resistance.
7. Degradation – Makes cost of resistance appear more damaging to self esteem than capitulation; Reduces prisoner to “animal level” concerns. Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you; humiliates you in any way.
8. Enforcing trivial demands – develops a habit of compliance.
9. Expects you to ask for permission.
10. Controls finances or refuses to share money. (This may be comparable to people leaving detention centre without the police returning personal belongings, i.e. airline tickets, money, etc.)
The above, are all techniques of disempowerment and disconnection. The chart is not only compatible with political prisoners but also victims of domestic abuse.
Post Trauma Perpetrator’s Response:
First and foremost, let us understand something about Perpetrators.
“The more powerful the Perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.”
The Perpetrator asks one thing of his/her victims, witnesses, and society, which is to do nothing. The Perpetrator appeals to the universal desire to hear, see and speak no evil. Thus, secrecy and silence are the Perpetrator’s first line of defence. He/she will do everything in his/her power to promote forgetting.
If secrecy and silence fail, the perpetrator will attempt to discredit the victim. The perpetrator will send messages such as:
• It never happened!The perpetrator tries to ensure that NO ONE listens to the victim, and will have impressive arguments, from blatant denial to rationalizations. Recovery Dr. Judith Lewis Herman is a specialist in dealing with Trauma and Recovery, from domestic violence to political prisoners. She lists a three-stage recovery process.
• The victim lies!
• The victim exaggerates!
• The victim brought it on her/himself!
• It is time to forget and move on!
1. Safety:In the inspiring and empowering words of Herman, “Most survivors seek the resolution of their traumatic experience within the confines of their personal lives. But a significant minority, as a result of the trauma, feel called upon to engage in a wider world. These survivors recognize a political or religious dimension in their misfortune and discover that they can transform the meaning of their personal tragedy by making it the basis for social action. While there is no way to compensate for an atrocity, there is a way to transcend it, by making it a gift to others. The trauma is redeemed only when it becomes the source of a survivor mission.” Be inspired and empowered.
This is the most important stage in the recovery process. The goal of this process is to empower the victim by re-establishing control of the body and bodily functions and the environment the victim lives in. Herman states the importance of regaining control on the inside and then work towards the outside. After the events of a trauma it is likely the victim will not feel safe in his/her own body. It is crucial to take the control back by getting medical attention if needed, getting adequate sleep, nutritional food, and sufficient amounts of water, and to use stress management strategies, i.e. relaxation, exercise, etc., instead
of misusing/abusing alcohol and/or drugs to “numb-out” any intense,
overwhelming feelings. The misuse or abuse of alcohol and/or drugs will prolong any affects resulting from the trauma.
Environmental safety includes connecting with loved ones, friends and family. Reach out to those who provide a sense of safety. Also, travel with others. You do not have to go out alone. If you feel safer travelling with friends, then do so. “Because no one can establish a safe environment alone, the task of developing an adequate safety plan always includes a component of social support.” – Judith Lewis Herman, M.D.
2. Remembrance And Mourning:
Remembering the trauma in great detail is not always possible, immediately after the event(s). This is okay, because it is the normal response to trauma to try and forget. The mind will shut-down as a way of self-preservation. After establishing a sense of safety, memories of the trauma may surface and overwhelming feelings may arise. TELL YOUR STORY! AND KEEP TELLING IT. It’s okay if you don’t have all the details yet, they will come when you are ready. Put the pieces together. Write down your memories, if necessary. Feeling of depression, anxiety, and terror may arise but this too is part of your story. LEAN ON YOUR SUPPORTS. Many victims of atrocities feel a sense of loss. Perhaps
you feel a loss of the old self, the person you were before the trauma, GRIEVE, it’s okay.
3. Reconnection:
Isolation is what the perpetrator wants for you. Reclaim your power by networking, joining support groups, community groups or reconnecting with your peers and tell your story. Get out and be in community and live your life. ENGAGE! RECONNECT! YOUR LIFE IS YOURS! THEY TOOK YOUR CONTROL BUT NOT YOUR POWER!!! Your future is YOURS. Create your future. Create your NEW SELF. Fight back!
The recovery process for trauma is NOT linear; however safety is the most important and the foundation for healing. This process does take time and varies with the severity of the trauma. Either way, you will not forget but you will heal. It is important to inform you that the trauma may resurface from time-to-time but the feelings will not be as intense. Be patient with your SELF. Everything you are experiencing is part of the healing process.
Accessing Services
There are a variety of services available to help people experiencing trauma after the G20:
• Sandi MacDonald of Harmony Counselling and Coaching is offering free trauma counselling to anyone who is experiencing one or more of these signs of trauma. Contact her at harmonycounselling@sympatico.ca or 416-432-6762. For those outside of Toronto, she also offers counselling by phone or email. Confidentiality is guaranteed. “Free Counselling After G8/G20” Facebook group: www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=128522747186111&ref=tsAdditional Online Resources:
• Peer To Peer Support For Activists Collective is a group of counselors and healers who have volunteered their services for those experiencing trauma following the events of the G20 in Toronto. They can be reached at peertopeersupportforactivists@gmail.com
• Toronto Rape Crisis Centre/Multicultural Women Against Rape runs a 24-hour hotline: 416-597-8808 and can be reached by email (English and Spanish, M-F business hours only) at crisis@trccmwar.ca. TRCC/MWAR-Programa de Mujeres Latinoamericanas: 416-597-1171 x228 (non crisis/ este numero no es ayuda de 24h). www.trccmwar.ca/crisis.html
• Distress Centre Crisis Line is available 24-hours a day at 416-408-HELP (4357). Their website is www.torontodistresscentre.com/distress.shtml
• LGBTQ Youth Line can be reached at 1-800-268-YOUTH (9688). Their website is
www.youthline.ca/where.html. (Volunteers are available for phone support and may be able to help you find LGBTQ2SI positive resources). They are open 4pm - 9:30pm, Sunday-Friday
• Gerstein Centre provides crisis and non crisis- mental health support. They can be reached at 416-929-5200. The Gerstein Centre provides crisis intervention to adults, living in the City of Toronto, who experience mental health problems. The Centre provides supportive counselling for immediate, crisis issues and referrals to other services for on-going, non-crisis issues. Their website is www.gersteincentre.org/
www.pscap.org/healingtrauma/
www.activist-trauma.net
http://aftershock.pattricejones.info/
www.activist-trauma.net/en/downloads.html
www.scarsongs.net/
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