Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Sunday, February 14, 2010

It's a queen. She'll breed. You'll die...

hmmm...maybe that was what always freaked out people about me breeding. If I could birth beautiful horrors onto the page, onto the screen with such ease, threatening to change, shift, completely destroy what they thought they knew, what they were taught, what they trusted in...if I could birth change/words with such ease, they must have been terrified at the thought of who I could/would birth from spirit in/to flesh...which I have also done with such ease even under the most rigorous conditions. Yup. They should be scared. shivers...I'm a little scared/anxious/excited sometimes, watching the little humaaaans make their power moves, growing, gathering pertinent bits of information, developing language and trying their razor blade tongues, telling me to back off when I get too close, when I block their agendas. :) heh.

The morning after, dark...

I had a date last night with one of my okc friends. He's fun. :) Our first date was a few weeks back. We had coffee and went vintage clothing shopping which was sweet.

Last night we saw Daybreakers.

It was his first time and my third time. I was tired from a really busy week or else I would have gone for drinks after the movie. Next time. But I'll have to be quick about it. He's leaving town in a few weeks.

In the meantime, this is a bit of fluff I'm enjoying dancing to right now. The beat is infectious. The words...well, I'm not really sure what they're trying to say. That's for the best, really. :)

I really need to go dancing. My lovely Buttertart, who is sort of rhythmically challenged (except in bed) promises that he'll go with me. That'll be sweet. I'll be able to bend him over...on the dance floor. :)

An Erotic E-zine of Masculinity and Power...

True Tales

Saturday, February 13, 2010

NO 2010 Olympics...

Locutus of Borg with Two of Two...

me and buttertart visiting his relatives for a not at all happy occasion.

Friday, February 12, 2010

A lot of things have been happening with me...

I'm not writing about any of it in any of my favourite places.
There isn't any need.

I'm mostly just experiencing what comes and thinking about it.

I realized last year when my father died that I actually didn't have any (close) flesh friends. Sure I know people but I didn't have any friends who I could see my way clear to asking to drop everything and come see me (in a mess).

I realize that part of the difficulty is that I don't actually share values or compatible ways of being with most of the people I encounter. Values and compatible ways of being are so often used by most people to form the foundation for things like friendship.

I have to admit that I don't try to toe the line or come more into line with popular perspectives and ways of engaging. I'm much more interested in feeling around inside of me and deciding what works best based on what I internally locate. This is a fancy shmancy way of saying that by all accounts I actually don't play well with other "kids".

If I was living in a an actual real time village rather than in a city where people group together in what they call communities and behave like terrified, narrow villagers...
If I was truly living in a village I probably would be the shunned or scorned woman living a ways off, just out of sight. Close but not so close that the villagers would catch her scent and go into anxiety and gather together screaming "witch, bitch, witch" and come burn my house down.

I don't have close friends...especially not close friends who are wimmin of any particular political identification or social location. I don't trust most of them and they, from the looks of it, when I take time to examine their choices and movements, most of them don't trust me, either, don't view me as ally or friend or loved one.

It makes perfect sense. They're right to not trust me. I don't share their values, their ways of moving through the world. their ways of hiding themselves and their agendas in plain sight, their ways of avoiding and denying and pretending and accommodating. I'm not like them. And if I'm not like them it only makes sense that they would utilize various coping mechanisms they were taught by their mothers, their families, their communities and the society as a whole to keep a certain amount of space between me and them. Wouldn't want to be driven over the edge by whatever demons have got me in their grip. Nope. That just wouldn't do.

It's for the best really. No complicated melodramas. No lies. No bits of pertinent information withheld. No simpering smiles covering over the self serving choices they made. No inviting me to help them maintain systems of internalized domination. No socially sanctioned denial.

Just me.
In my head.
In my body.
In my soul.

Which leads me back to where I started.

I've been going through some changes and moves. I think that at the end of the day what's happening for me will serve me well and contribute to my maturation process.

Picture this:
Right now I'm in a cave, there's a fire and some aromatic herbs burning over the fire creating a slightly hallucinogenic effect which allows me to dream and wander as I dream and cavort as I wander and gather information as I...breathe...exhale...inhale...exhale...

I am questing, asking questions and trying to make peace with the fact that answers seem to be in short supply.

No matter. It's all good. Chit chat soon, okay? Kiss, kiss.

And so it begins...or at least continues...

no 2010 olympics on stolen native land

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Fault Lines - Haiti: The politics of rebuilding

Reparations for Haiti...

I got this via Naomi Kleins facebook page but it can also be found here...

Haiti: A Creditor, Not a Debtor

Published in The Nation

If we are to believe the G-7 finance ministers, Haiti is on its way to getting something it has deserved for a very long time: full "forgiveness" of its foreign debt. In Port-au-Prince, Haitian economist Camille Chalmers has been watching these developments with cautious optimism. Debt cancellation is a good start, he told Al Jazeera English, but "It's time to go much further. We have to talk about reparations and restitution for the devastating consequences of debt." In this telling, the whole idea that Haiti is a debtor needs to be abandoned. Haiti, he argues, is a creditor—and it is we, in the West, who are deeply in arrears.

Our debt to Haiti stems from four main sources: slavery, the US occupation, dictatorship and climate change. These claims are not fantastical, nor are they merely rhetorical. They rest on multiple violations of legal norms and agreements. Here, far too briefly, are highlights of the Haiti case.

§ The Slavery Debt. When Haitians won their independence from France in 1804, they would have had every right to claim reparations from the powers that had profited from three centuries of stolen labor. France, however, was convinced that it was Haitians who had stolen the property of slave owners by refusing to work for free. So in 1825, with a flotilla of war ships stationed off the Haitian coast threatening to re-enslave the former colony, King Charles X came to collect: 90 million gold francs--ten times Haiti's annual revenue at the time. With no way to refuse, and no way to pay, the young nation was shackled to a debt that would take 122 years to pay off.

In 2003, Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, facing a crippling economic embargo, announced that Haiti would sue the French government over that long-ago heist. "Our argument," Aristide's former lawyer Ira Kurzban told me, "was that the contract was an invalid agreement because it was based on the threat of re-enslavement at a time when the international community regarded slavery as an evil." The French government was sufficiently concerned that it sent a mediator to Port-au-Prince to keep the case out of court. In the end, however, its problem was eliminated: while trial preparations were under way, Aristide was toppled from power. The lawsuit disappeared, but for many Haitians the reparations claim lives on.

§ The Dictatorship Debt. From 1957 to 1986, Haiti was ruled by the defiantly kleptocratic Duvalier regime. Unlike the French debt, the case against the Duvaliers made it into several courts, which traced Haitian funds to an elaborate network of Swiss bank accounts and lavish properties. In 1988 Kurzban won a landmark suit against Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier when a US District Court in Miami found that the deposed ruler had "misappropriated more than $504,000,000 from public monies."

Haitians, of course, are still waiting for their payback--but that was only the beginning of their losses. For more than two decades, the country's creditors insisted that Haitians honor the huge debts incurred by the Duvaliers, estimated at $844 million, much of it owed to institutions like the IMF and the World Bank. In debt service alone, Haitians have paid out tens of millions every year.

Was it legal for foreign lenders to collect on the Duvalier debts when so much of it was never spent in Haiti? Very likely not. As Cephas Lumina, the United Nations Independent Expert on foreign debt, put it to me, "the case of Haiti is one of the best examples of odious debt in the world. On that basis alone the debt should be unconditionally canceled."

But even if Haiti does see full debt cancellation (a big if), that does not extinguish its right to be compensated for illegal debts already collected.

§ The Climate Debt. Championed by several developing countries at the climate summit in Copenhagen, the case for climate debt is straightforward. Wealthy countries that have so spectacularly failed to address the climate crisis they caused owe a debt to the developing countries that have done little to cause the crisis but are disproportionately facing its effects. In short: the polluter pays. Haiti has a particularly compelling claim. Its contribution to climate change has been negligible; Haiti's per capita CO2 emissions are just 1 percent of US emissions. Yet Haiti is among the hardest hit countries—according to one index, only Somalia is more vulnerable to climate change.

Haiti's vulnerability to climate change is not only—or even mostly—because of geography. Yes, it faces increasingly heavy storms. But it is Haiti's weak infrastructure that turns challenges into disasters and disasters into full-fledged catastrophes. The earthquake, though not linked to climate change, is a prime example. And this is where all those illegal debt payments may yet extract their most devastating cost. Each payment to a foreign creditor was money not spent on a road, a school, an electrical line. And that same illegitimate debt empowered the IMF and World Bank to attach onerous conditions to each new loan, requiring Haiti to deregulate its economy and slash its public sector still further. Failure to comply was met with a punishing aid embargo from 2001 to '04, the death knell to Haiti's public sphere.

This history needs to be confronted now, because it threatens to repeat itself. Haiti's creditors are already using the desperate need for earthquake aid to push for a fivefold increase in garment-sector production, some of the most exploitative jobs in the country. Haitians have no status in these talks, because they are regarded as passive recipients of aid, not full and dignified participants in a process of redress and restitution.

A reckoning with the debts the world owes to Haiti would radically change this poisonous dynamic. This is where the real road to repair begins: by recognizing the right of Haitians to reparations.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010


If you're visiting my blog this morning please bear with. I'm trying to change my profile pic but having problems with scale. Too big. Too small. Never...just...right. I'll work out the bugs or the kinks or whatever it is that's possessing my blog. Dyam e-poltergeist. Out! Out! :)

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Morning musical infusion...

JWL Freakwitch...

secondwaver has left a new comment on your post "The enemy is at home...":

Love this, & your intro, DD.
Oh you're very welcome, secondwaver. The video was posted on the facebook page of a good friend whose blog is here...

Saturday, February 06, 2010

As far as I'm concerned...

This blog is one of the best poly resources online. Why? It's because of their insistence on blogging out in the open and sharing their experiences with poly. There's something really special about being seen, having witnesses as you chart territory so unfamiliar to the vast majority of people on the planet. The sharing ends up being part of the charting, no? How to be so high viz and still be true? Still be brave? Still convey the essence of what has occurred? Still be out about things so deeply personal? Especially when in so doing you potentially open yourself to judgment, ridicule, attack, oppression. This was a poly family with children. They're not together anymore and I'm sad about that. I've recently started reading them again, though. I'm curious about their lumps and bumps and sore areas. I'm curious about where things were awful and where things worked well.

Our Poly Life...

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Disease mongering machine...

Why let the drug companies have all the fun? With the help of this handy dandy app you too can now invent psychiatric diseases. Enjoy!...and make lots of money while you're at it. ;)

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

The enemy is at home...

my only difficulty with this video is the fact that racism only comes to the fore in anti-war discourse, slipping from the lips of a white soldier no less, when a black man, a tool of the old, white, male dominated ruling families is placed carefully in office.

now the gawd king for an hour and a day dies for the sins of all the white lefty liberal people who voted him into office.

now he is sacrificed on the altar of their hopes for prosperity and fertility. sacrificed in denial and in rage.

do i feel sorry for him?


his bosses prepped him for this particular outcome, no doubt.

it's just that...well i never agreed to take the fall for anyone's white privileged denial. i never agreed to hang my head low because the obamaramites miscalculated.

but i do have a feeling that it has only begun to get hot up in here for anyone with dark skin who can be used as a proxy punching bag, stand in for the horned god king sacrificial lover of the land.

before everyone was excited about the new young lover soon to be inaugurated god king. they rubbed themselves on black folks all over the world with much orgiastic abandon. i didn't like that any better. i hid and avoided accepting hugs from strangers on the sidewalks of my city. now he's in and he's done exactly what i thought he'd do - diddly. yup. jack squat diddly.

but now i'm worried that some zombied out left over from the "yes we can!" bullshite campaign is gonna open fire on me while i'm walking my kids back from the park or the mall or starbucks or something.

all i have to say is please, people. could'ya try and keep me out of it completely. don't try to french kiss me when he makes you happy. don't try and lynch me when he doesn't. take your projected shite elsewhere and leave me in peace. ;)

other than the copious references to obamarama meant to implicate him in ways that says he is one of the higher ups when he is actually and always has been one of their lackeys - The Blackchurian Candidate - I actually thought this video was worth sharing.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

"Dollars must come with demands of non-interference in Haiti’s affairs and demands of accountability to charitable organizations"

Freedom Rider: Useless Aid, No Donation Without Agitation

from the rubble
The time has come for a new paradigm: No donation without agitation.”

The United States has succeeded in plunging mainstream disaster “relief” into disrepute.

“No donations to groups like the Red Cross, who sit on millions of dollars but do nothing but hand out blankets and move victims away from their homes in order to convenience the powerful.”

And, especially, no donations to any group associated with George Bush or Bill Clinton.

Freedom Rider: Useless Aid
by BAR editor and senior columnist Margaret Kimberley
Dollars must come with demands of non-interference in Haiti’s affairs and demands of accountability to charitable organizations.”
A telethon hosted by celebrities succeeded in raising more than $57 million in funds for the relief of Haiti earthquake victims. Yet that sum and the many millions more donated by individuals around the world will do little to relieve Haiti’s plight.
Haitians are living in their latest hellish incarnation created by American meddling and the crushing of that nation’s democracy. As long as the United States directs Haiti’s affairs, and empowers a corrupt elite instead of the will of the masses, suffering will continue whether caused by natural or human-made disaster.
The scenes of devastation, death and injury move most human beings first to empathize and then to take some action in order to help. The sad stories tug at the heartstrings and the miraculous tales of survival lift the spirit. However, in the absence of an infrastructure built by Haitians to help Haitians, the images do nothing but create a kind of twisted voyeurism. Bringing change to Haiti should not be the equivalent of gawking at a crash on the side of the highway.
An illegitimate government whose very existence is opposed by the population is incapable of building new homes or treating the injured.”
Haiti is still ruled by a clique of criminals put in place by the United States government. Lavalas, the party supported by a majority of citizens, is barred from participation in the electoral process that is now a sham. An illegitimate government whose very existence is opposed by the population is incapable of building new homes or treating the injured. Haitians have already begun to scatter throughout the country in search of food and shelter, despite the fact that hundreds of millions of dollars have been donated to help them.
The sad fact of the matter is that individuals cannot help Haiti or end human suffering anywhere on earth unless their assistance is combined with political action. The dollars must come with demands of non-interference in Haiti’s affairs and demands of accountability to charitable organizations. If the Red Cross doesn’t even spend all of its enormous contributions, as it shamelessly did after the 9/11 attacks, Hurricane Katrina, and the Asian tsunami, then donors must stop giving before the next disaster strikes.
The ‘bottleneck’ in Port au Prince was a direct result of the militarization of aid to Haiti.”
If American aid to Haiti comes in the form of military occupation, then even reputable organizations are unable to do their jobs adequately. Doctors Without Borders [1] has had a presence in Haiti for many years, but flights containing 85 tons of their medical supplies were diverted to the Dominican Republic. Precious time was lost in the process of retrieving life saving medicines and equipment from another country.
The much talked about airport “bottleneck” in Port au Prince was a direct result of the militarization of aid to Haiti.The United States army decided who would be permitted to land and who would not. While VIP flights were given priority and created the diversion of medical supplies, the environmental group Greenpeace gave Doctors Without Borders use of a ship to carry less urgent equipment, allowing the medical group to prioritize delivery of its most desperately needed cargo.
It seems cruel to advise against helping human beings in need, but we have seen this movie many times before and we know the ending. The time has come for a new paradigm: “No donation without agitation.” No donations to groups like the Red Cross, who sit on millions of dollars but do nothing but hand out blankets and move victims away from their homes in order to convenience the powerful. No donations must be made to any group headed by a Bush or a Clinton. The old presidents’ old boys club did nothing for the Gulf Coast victims of hurricane Katrina. It would be not only a waste but a terrible wrong to give them another opportunity to collect funds which never seem to be used for people who need it.
The time has come for a new paradigm: ‘No donation without agitation.’”
This earthquake should be the last instance of easy text message philanthropy. Instead of pressing a few buttons, concerned people should ask questions and make demands. Current and former American presidents should not be allowed to grandstand when their policies made life hell for Haitians in the first place. The first president Bush ousted president Aristide, Clinton restored him to power only after promises of “market reform” and Bush the younger kidnapped him and tossed him out of his country. Yet a Bush and a Clinton now have the nerve to pose for photos and behave as though they are interested in helping the very people they crushed.
There will always be hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes. They are the inevitable results of nature at work. Starvation, illness and displacement are inevitable only if the people who create those conditions are permitted to continue their actions without opposition. It can be a waste to send money, even if the cause is a righteous one. Let us make this the last time we take the easy and useless way out.

Margaret Kimberley's Freedom Rider column appears weekly in BAR. Ms. Kimberley lives in New York City, and can be reached via e-Mail at Margaret.Kimberley(at)